So lets see I seemed to have fallen off of the planet, right?

A little quick update. Well lets see. Since my last journal I actually got more animals. I got yet another rat her name is Penelope Prune. Bealzabub, Molly, and Marty all passed. My hedgehog Comelo just passed. I had gotten a puppy but he was killed. I got two boy rats but with work and me never being here I found them a new home.

Love life? well not so much anymore. Chris and I broke up about 8 months ago. We are however still good friends. He actually just moved in with me and my roommate on the second. I actually just recently started talking to a new guy. Turns out he is a butt head. He wanted to be with me but he is in the military and I turned him down because he will be leaving for 5 years to a state very far away. I told him what was the point in us being together if we couldn't be together. Well he got upset and started going back out with his ex gf. he never told me and continued to bring me out on dates and come over and cuddle. I found out when the gf confronted me i felt horrible and bad. As well me and him still talk. He still thinks he's cute and i wont lie he is but just not the man for me. Chris seemed to realize that I will not sit around and wait for him to grow up and decide what he wants to do with his life. So him moving in is more of a keep you eyes on josie make sure she isnt with anyone else.

Me and a friend bought a trailor we are wiaitng patiently for our thrid roomamte to move in. I also got a new car. My old buick was a piece of poo.

I had to drop out of school because i couldn't afford it. I work full time. I'm trying to raise enough money to be able to stay where i am and go to school.

I can't really think of anything else. But Imma try to get on here more often. But I dont do artsy stuff anymore. Some where in time getting so busy with the realities of life I've lost the feeling to make things. I'll probably just post a few pictures all that about it.

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People i stalk:

Friend at school:







Amazing people i met on Da:



















I Suport:


Clubs:





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Song of the day:

Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to trace what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.

Tripping up on my tongue,
It’s all over my face and I’m racing
Gotta get away from you
Burning all the way home,
Try to put it to bed but it chases
Every little thing I do

When the light falls on your face,
Don’t let it change you
When the stars get in your eyes,
Don’t let them blind you.

[CHORUS]
You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line, and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.

Spell it out in a song,
Bet you never catch on to my weakness
I’m singing every word for you.
Here I’m thinking I’m sly
Then you’re catching my eye, and just maybe
You’re thinking what I’m thinking too

When you see it on my face,
Don’t let it shake you
I know better than to try and
Take you with me.

[CHORUS X1]

Saving Jane Come down to me

I guess i could write a new journal.

I have a new rat. yeah im the crazy rat lady her name is Portabella June but i call her bella but she only comes to Portabella. She is identical to Belle in everyway but... her eyes are blood red. She is pretty. I visit belles little grave just about everyday. I bought her some flowers and when the weather is nice im going to grow Bleeding hearts on her grave.

In other news. Molly has a tumor. She'll have to be put down. Right now im avoiding bringing her in because i just dont want to deal with another death. The vet says that most of the time they can be removed but they still will get more and it will most likely be a waste of time. She can also be put down but right now she'll just be unhappy and agressive but since ive had her shes been agressive.

Other Other news: Chris was sent to prision about 10 days ago. He'll be in jail for 2 months. I visited a few times gave him pictures of the girls and pictures of me. He recently was sent to the high rise. Im hoping he wont get his head bashed in. I know some people whose family was sent there and they were raped then got there skulls broke by rocks. How chris got there? Well hes special and got caught driving with a revoked license. Why he got his license revoked? Well there was a car accident in flordia about a year ago. The crash was not his fault but the lady claimed it was. he got a ticket. When we went to the courthouse to pay it off they claimed the ticket did not exist. well he got pulled a while back cuz he had a brake light out and they found out he never went to court or paid off the ticket there for they took the license. In case chris wasnt in enough trouble he kept driving around.So yeah thats been pretty hard on me.

Hopefully in 2 weeks ill be able to visit him its a 5 hour drive to the high rise and im trying to get off work cuz if i visit i can hug him.

I wish he could have stayed in the local jail 2 minutes away cuz there i could visi every saturday after work and he was allowed a collect call ever day. of course i cant accept collect calls but instead of leaving hes name he would send me messages. The last one was hello you have a collect call from "hey baby i miss and love you." that made me smile.

so im still working full time and going to school full time. i have started making sculptures again and worked with my photography a little. Eventually ill put up pictures of belle and my sculptures.

p.s.
I feel in love with the song below its just amazing.

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People i stalk:

Friend at school:







Amazing people i met on Da:



















I Suport:


Clubs:





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Song of the day:

It's looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We're reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do

But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard

Band of horses No ones gonna love you

so monday was supose to be a really good day but ended up not so much. Belle died. She had been sick for awhile then she was good then she suddenly hit a downfall. I went to class and when came home she was laying on my bed in her blanket, she didnt look so good. I gave her a kiss on the head and told her she better stay healthy i wanted her to see her 1 year b-day. she looked at me and gave me a kiss then walked off the bed and laid in the middle of the floor and stopped moving.

i spent most of the day laying in bed crying. Chris came to the house we buried her and made her a little tombstone. then chris took me out for our 2 year anniversary.

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People i stalk:

Friend at school:







Amazing people i met on Da:



















I Suport:


Clubs:





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Song of the day:

Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally
If we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have halloween on christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

I miss you
(I miss you)

Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep
I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This 6 string's darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home
And stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you)
You're already the voice inside my head
(I miss you)

blink 182 miss you

so i did bad with the updating..lol
well im back in school and i started playing world of warcraft again
come find me
yersa = Phizzy, Phizabeth, Jozia, Mookish, and Mookiebear

oh i love that game.
So lets see i got in another car accident.
there was ice in the road and me being stupid his the brakes.
My car looks like poopie but still drives well.
I broke my wrist and went in a ditch.
I was stuck in the car for 3 hours before someone drove by and actually stopped to get me out. I was stuck upside down and didnt want to unbuckle cuz i would have flew into the window. I was mad 5 cars drove by and didnt do anything.

My rats got better but then Belle (blonde) got really sick. They said i had to put her down if the medicine didnt work. I think it did for a little bit. But shes getting sick again. Shes sleeping in my lap right now. I really hope she gets better.

Phizzy is being a pest, shes mad at me cuz belle is in my lap not her.. crazy dog.

I think ill rat proof my room again so Belle can run around she ran around my room for a week when she was really sick.. she keeps trying to still my energy drink powder and chocolate kisses which i know wont make her feel any better.

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People i stalk:

Friend at school:







Amazing people i met on Da:



















I Suport:


Clubs:





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Song of the day:

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the scar that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Like being in love to feel for the first time

lifehouse first time

So i went to the doctors yesterday.
I've been sick for 3 months.
Turns out... dun dun dun
I have a freaking bladder infection and a slight case of pnemonia (sp)...
Yay i supose.. when she told me that i said.. what my vagina doesnt hurt.

When i was telling her my symptoms she said it sounded like ovarion cancer. Goody i thought thats just what i need. Im so happy i dont have that.

*more*

alright finals are here yippe.. I took one already and im about to go take another one.
guess that was a lame edit so ill add some chat.

- in reading we were walking is and i random sat down and he was still going
Raymond: well fine ill just sit over here
me: -looks at him makes face books backpack in chair next to me- thats fine i have my book bag
Raymond: -makes face says something dont remember runs around looking for place to sit eventually makes his way back to where i was sitting- ill just sit here
me: -feeling woozy gets out my big bottle of pills for my bladder infection-
Raymond: well god its not that bad

-park with parker aarom samma and chris

parker: i think sopmeone just died -looks up-
chris: -looks to the sky and runs around- where
samma: at the church by my house
chris: oh what happened
Parker: idk stabbed or run down by a hooker
aaron: well thats fun

-work

david: call me dc smooth
me: no
david: then call me Dddddnasty (whispers it)
Me: ew deffaintly no -pauses- ill call you Ddork
David: but dddddddddnasty has an extra kick to it
Me: im just not calling you that

-work

Mr. Thomas (hes like 80): when you gonna wear your hair in pigtail again
Me: every saturday
Mr. thomas: ill be her next staurday
me: oh you better

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People i stalk:

Friend at school:







Amazing people i met on Da:



















I Suport:


Clubs:





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Song of the day:

I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things that you say
It doesn't take a talent to be mean
You words can crush things that are unseen

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way

You always tell me that it's impossible
To be respected, and be a girl
Why's it gotta be so complicated
Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way

When I was thinking, that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we can give it people who have some faith

So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way

I have this theory, that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
'Cause anyone can start a conflict
it's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

Jewel